life is about love, lost minutes and last evenings

today is one of those days where nothing is happening and i cant be happy, this summer since i got home seems to one where nothing is happening and i cant be happy and ive only been home 6 days. In those 6 days i have come realise that its difficult trying to live here and live there and live all over the place because you can never settle long enough or have enough free time anywhere to have those friendships where best friendships begin to form. Since i got home all ive ive done is work in the same job ive worked at since i was 16, ive seen my boyfriend twice, and sat on ebay in my room for HOURS, ive bought pointless items because they are £1.50 and this is all i can afford and tonight I put on lipstick and did my hair just to try and look nice, as a cleaner there is little time to look nice during the day. I feel like im going through this stage of trying to adapt back into my old life, its just hard as i see everyone else hanging out with their friends, going to festivals, getting drunk, having money not being stupidly broke >.< and i just feel like where did i go wrong? ive always had friends ALWAYS, but living in this stupid village and being unable to drive i feel i could have all the friends in the world but its so hard to see them when buses finish here at 6 and i always seem to have work the next day stupidly early and they live stupidly far away. I always seem to get back to the point where in my room listening to sad music and wallowing in self pity at how friendless i am that night... and ofcourse being overdramatic. All i want this summer is to manage to get grey/blonde hair and be happy and have fun.. also maybe to turn twenty one and stop feeling like a over emotional teenager.