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| (i had no clue what photo to use for this so birthday TMNT ^.^) |
I only have another three weeks left of my first year at uni and its so strange how quickly it has happened, i remember clearly this time last year getting ready to leave Leeds university after a year that i cant fathom now, i cant fathom how i felt and why i did about a place and about people that if i were to meet them now i would probably have a better time there than i do here, but looking into it in too much depth causes bigger headaches.
I was talking to my flatmate last night and we said that to describe our first year at university would be unfulfilling and quite sad, because the only words i am willing to use to describe it is 'nice', this year in comparison to last has been 'nice'. I wouldn't sit here and preach to people about attending university because i don't feel it is the best experience of my life and i have met friends for life, i go about and seem to make the best of friends in people that i take with me wherever i go and normally the better the friends the shorter the time i spend with them, always looking to move on to bigger and better things, however they rarely are bigger and better and i spend quiet moments regretting moving on from something that i didnt make the most of and im possibly scared i am doing the same with this university as i did with the last.
I study Fashion and i feel like i never push myself enough, i know i have the talent and i know i am better than the person i fall into when i get down from the constant criticism and the constant moving from one place to the other, barely time to settle down with anyone.
Last year I studied Textile Design at Leeds University, i was straight out of college and i hadn't been accepted into any of the London university's i believed would want me to do fashion and so my back up choice which i never wanted was where i had to go to. I felt i had to go because family life had become increasingly harder and harder and it wasn't an option to stay at home. I was nineteen and as my mum says, i was a 'young' nineteen, i didn't want to move away from my boyfriend who i had been with at that point for two and a half years, he was starting uni at the same time but we would be two and half hours away. Moving to Leeds, i knew i didn't want to be there, i didn't want that mindset but i could escape it and so i have memories i would never change and a best friend i would never want to of not met and Leeds changed me and i grew up and i learnt so much about myself, but for a year it wasn't what i wanted and so i wanted to move on i wanted to do fashion.
Coventry was the choice i picked and i don't regret it, its closer to home, its closer to my boyfriend and im happy, i don't think university is amazing and i don't think i have as good memories here as Leeds but im happy and i could never of said that a year ago, its not what i want exactly but i think uni was never what i wanted so i feel like in three weeks i need a rest and a break and to just take time off this summer from worrying about uni, which is what ive spent my past two summers doing and i think with all the changing i need a little bit of time to have my own time and not have to make new friends and just remember who i am as i think its very easy to get lost, as i really want to make amazing memories next year.
I didnt mean for this post to be too depressing, i really want to write about fashion and my ideas but this is just a little midnight entry of my thoughts, i am a super happy person really and i have met some of my new favourite people in coventry that are as crazy as me ^.^
